One of the greatest things about being in recovery are the parties! Not the lame alcohol-filled, drooling on-the-shoulder-of-some-stranger parties from our days in active addiction. No. Not those parties at all. The types of parties I’m talking about come in all shapes and sizes and should happen daily. When you are in recovery there is always cause to celebrate and there is no reason to wait.
Think about it. Right now in the midst of the Christmas rush there are millions of Earth people running around stressing about getting gifts for loved ones, worrying over the details of an office party, or planning to get blasted as soon as the last bit of Christmas paper is stuffed into the trash in a couple of weeks. And, I suspect not a single one knows what we alcoholics know: all of that stress and worry should be cause for celebration. If you were like me, you almost cancelled all of your future Christmas plans, permanently. Each day we get is a gift, and we should celebrate!
I didn’t always see it like that. In active addiction, each day was a battle that could only be won with multiple victory drinks before bed or passing out on a couch. There was nothing colorful or joyous about approaching Christmas holidays. There were strands of lights that were half lit. (Much like the guy hanging them.) The gifts were never what I wanted to give because the ones I wanted were too expensive. The explosion of Christmas Day always required Irish whiskey in my coffee to erase the morning’s hangover before starting a new one. Then, the headache of the bills for the “lame” gifts I bought would rival all of the Christmas hangovers. The whole affair was nothing but a dark slog through each day. The ideal Christmas stayed just out of reach.
Whenever I find myself beginning to get all Grinchy about this time of year, I just have to look to my past. Then, I realize the problems of Christmas are mostly ones I manufacture. My need for perfection with chaos is a left over trait from active addiction that sometimes slips in to add a cloud to my sunny recovery day. When I realize this, I have to remember that I have plenty of reason to celebrate. Yes, that’s right. In the midst of a bad moment there is always something good to save the day. I’m not alone in this line of thought.
If your Alcoholics Anonymous home group is anything like mine, the planning for at least one celebration is already underway. Every year we have a Christmas party, and we invite members of other groups to attend, eat too much food, drink too much coffee, and celebrate the fact that this year we spent exactly 0 minutes at a Christmas party drunk. Something so unthinkable at one point in our lives is now a cause of celebration. We even bring gifts to exchange in a game where a person can trade a crappy gift for a better one.
After a year where one of my friends opened a beautiful package to discover the gift was a coconut purse that didn’t even match his wardrobe, people have been less than fond of choosing what I bring to the party. In fact, I went home with my own gift last year, 10 scratch off lottery tickets. For fun, Nina and I took turns looking for winners. I won $2 and she won $500. Definitely a time to celebrate!
Other home groups ad a twist to their party by offering 24 hours of meetings of Christmas Day. I have always been amazed at this idea, and one of these years I will have chance to participate. Those groups know how to celebrate!
No matter what gift I get at a Christmas party or on Christmas Day, I have no complaints. Just remembering that people care for me is enough, truly. Being able to spend time with the people I love is a perfect reason to celebrate. No matter what happens it will be better than my Christmas in rehab. However, I will say, my Christmas in treatment was desperately needed. And, if you are one of those who are wavering between getting help and struggling through another Christmas that ends with a hangover, what are you waiting for? Jump in, and get to work. Then, you will suddenly understand the need to celebrate.
For me, recovery does not mean I get to live a life free of struggles. Recovery is not the constant joy of flying over rainbows on a unicorn. Recovery is simply being able to live and appreciate living. Think about it, roller coasters have twists, turns, dips and loops, for a reason. The excitement and joy has to have a slow climb and a few fearful moments or we won’t feel the happiness. Much like a roller coaster, wasting time worrying if the next part of the ride will be a loop or a turn, takes away from the ride. I have to sit back, feel the joy of surprise and celebrate each moment. All too soon, the ride will be over.
Tomorrow, exactly nine years ago I darkened the door of a treatment center. Then, I didn’t fully realize it then, my roller coaster ride was rapidly ending. As a sat in lounge area adjusting to the feeling of two silver bullets in my butt, I realized I had no control over anything. I didn’t have a wallet or cellphone. I couldn’t change the channel on the TV, and I was not allowed to use the microwave to pop popcorn.
In that room, I finally shut my mouth long enough (possibly due to detox meds and withdrawals) to listen to someone who had a story almost exactly like mine. He reminded me that each day was a day to celebrate. Despite having heard something similar all my life, I only understood when this wise man explained it to me. Like the Whos in Whoville, who had lost their Christmas, I fully understood why each day should be a day to sing, dance and laugh. We get to experience it. That gift should always be a cause to celebrate; my roller coaster ride ain’t over, yet.
Now, nine years later, I will pick up my medallion at a meeting to celebrate my continued sobriety with the people who help me stay sober. Nina and I will also celebrate our third wedding anniversary. I’m grateful each day for the joy she has brought in my life, and none of it would be possible without sobriety.
There will be more celebrations to come as Christmas approaches. Each year, we go for rides to look at Christmas lights while sipping Chai tea. We may even have a little time for a quick, though cold beach trip. Of course, there will be family meals and gift exchanges. No matter what lies ahead, I will remember the tips that help me each Christmas season. And above all, I will remember to celebrate!
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