The recovery community has a language of its own. Whether your sobriety journey is based on a 12-step program, or not, there are so many clichés, slogans, and one-liners that infiltrate this community and worm their way into our daily lives. Honestly, more often than not, if you listen closely, it almost sounds as if we live our lives by fortune-cookie sobriety quotes.
If you’ve ever done any amount of writing in any capacity you know that sometimes, the brain goes on strike. I don’t know if I can legitimately call myself a “writer” at this point or not, but I can attest to the fact that “writer’s block” is a real b!tch. For the past two weeks, I’ve struggled to write about anything.
The thing is, writing has been an outlet for me all of my life and has become especially important in my sobriety journey. So regardless of whether or not I’m able to provide content for the blog, writer’s block has been especially frustrating for my daily life. Typically, when this happens I take a day or two off and return to a fresh brain and easily flowing words from my fingertips. This time, not so much… So, what can I do, ya know? That’s when it hit me, the annoying little cliché “This too shall pass”… eventually. It occurred to me right on time, like a perfectly-timed, sober fortune cookie.
What is the sober community without its simple yet often profound clichés? I’ve been thinking about that a lot here lately. It’s funny, isn’t it? It’s almost as if have our own separate language. If you’re like me at all, you can spot one of “our people” a mile away from just a few simple turns of a phrase.
You know the ones I’m talking about: “First Thought Wrong,” “One Day at A Time,” “Identify Don’t Compare,” “Don’t Give Up Before the Miracle Happens” … the list goes on and on. Proud of us, Yoda would be.
Honestly, if they weren’t so applicable, the clichés would be lame. Maybe they’re lame anyway, but they exist for a reason… because they’re usually true. I often wonder what it sounds like to the people around us who aren’t in recovery. If I had to venture a guess, we probably really do sound like walking, talking fortune cookies of sobriety.
So, here’s the deal; I’ve compiled a short list of smartassery that consists primarily of my favorite recovery sayings that make our conversations sound like they come from little strips of paper, fortune-cookie sobriety if you will.
I’ll share my thoughts on them, and hopefully, you’ll be inclined to share some of your own thoughts, too. If you’ve heard these before, be sure to tell me which is your favorite and why? Also, if I’m missing some of your favorites, leave them in the comments so we all can enjoy it! Let’s make it fun.
Sober Fortune Cookie #1:
“The only people fortunate enough to complain about the quality of their sobriety are sober people.”
Translation: You’re sober a$$hole, what more do you want?
Don’t get me wrong, is there an “ideal” level of “emotional sobriety” I’d like to achieve? Sure, there is! With that being said, though, be mindful that sobriety doesn’t change the fact that we’re human and have fluctuating emotions, circumstances, and moods. Life shifts, changes, and rearranges, and so does sobriety. Just don’t drink, do the next right thing, keep it simple, live one day at a time and you’ll be okay.
Sober Fortune Cookie #2:
“In sobriety, I find that I have problems in areas that I didn’t have areas before.”
It’s kind of like the old saying “mo’ money, mo’ problems.”
Translation: Problems are problems no matter who you are, and what your life is like. We all have problems, some legitimate, some perceived, but regardless your problems are just as valid as mine and vice versa.
With that being said, though, if we’re being honest with each other… can we admit that our problems in sobriety are gold-plated compared to the problems we faced in active addiction? Problematic as they may be, oftentimes, today we have “problems of providence.” It’s really just a matter of taking stock of our lives now from a sober perspective.
Sober Fortune Cookie #3:
“We don’t get run over by the caboose; we get hit by the engine.”
Translation: It’s the first drink that gets you drunk.
This saying was quite confusing to me early on. At the time, I had known a few lightweights who couldn’t hold their liquor, but I had never met anyone who got drunk from one drink.
Naturally though, the phrase it not meant to be taken literally. Well, I guess it sort of is actually. Like a train barreling towards you on the tracks, the last thing you’re worried about is the caboose, right? I mean, at the very least, the engine is going to get you first. The caboose can’t get you until the engine and all the other cars have come down the track. Similarly, without taking the first drink, you’ll never get drunk, ergo, the first drink gets you drunk… eventually.
Sober Fortune Cookie #4:
Relax, take it Easy, and Don’t Struggle.
Translation: Don’t force things. It’ll work out however it’s supposed to.
While it may be a good piece of advice, this one sounds a little creepy out of context. Who’s struggling, and under what circumstances… Nevertheless, when applied to sobriety, this one is often easier said than done.
Like most addicts/alcoholics, I want, what I want, when I want it. It’s that simple. Unfortunately, that usually entails me trying to force situations, people, places, or things to conform to my ideas. Rarely does this go well, or work to anyone’s benefit, including my own.
In the rare event that I actually follow this advice, when I can convince myself to relax, take it easy, and not struggle, I find that I am more at peace, and can effectively focus on doing the next right thing. Like I said though… easier said than done.
Whether you’re new to recovery jargon, or an old hat at this fortune-cookie sobriety thing, I hope you were able to find something of value to your sobriety in this post. If not, that’s okay, screaming into the abyss is kind of cathartic for me anyway.
At the end of the day, I have to remember, clichés are clichés for a reason. You don’t have to like them, but you don’t knock’em till you try’em. Whether you a fan of the classics like “live and let live” and “this too shall pass” or you prefer your sobriety clichés to have a little more sass, face it, we both sound like we’re practicing fortune-cookie sobriety.
Thanks for reading! Please like, share, and comment below!
If someone keeps bringing up the past, it’s time to make them a part of it!
Ooh that’s a nice one! Yep, definitely don’t live in the past anymore.
Thanks!