Rock Bottom? We All Got’em!

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but everyone, at some point in time, has fantasized about something they’d like to do, accomplish, or be remembered for. If you haven’t, I strongly encourage you to, as the worst-case scenario it provides a healthy sense of escapism, and in the best-case scenario, it serves as a jumping-off place for inspiration. It’s very much a “shoot for the stars, and if you miss, you might just find yourself the moon” type of thing. Stan and I do this type of thing all the time, and while we haven’t landed on the moon quite yet.. we have come up with a great name for a treatment facility we’d like to open someday. Are you ready for it? Drum roll, please…. “Rock Bottom, We Gott’em”! (patent pending).

On a slightly more serious, and ahem, more realistic note, I’d like to share what has come to my attention, is an apparently “hot take” on the concept of rock bottom. To be fair, you were forewarned in the title. There will be no plot twist, jumpscares, or unexpected suprises here, “Rock Bottom, We ALL Got’em”. I know, I know, some of you might already be ready to throw in the towel, close whatever browser you’re reading this on, and move over to TikTok where you might find yourself scrolling endlessly to pass the time. If you choose to do that, I’ll understand. If however, you choose to stick around, I would very much like to hear your thoughts and perspectives in the comment section at the end of this post. Let’s go ahead and dive in, shall we?

In recent years, there has been an uptick in the prevalence of “New Sobriety”. For those of you who may just be hearing this phrase for the first time, I highly recommend clicking over to Amy Dresner’s article in Psychology Today, she does a beautiful job explaining this phenomenon. In any case, “New Sobriety”, as Dresner explains is more or less a health trend that centers on sobriety for people who do not classify as “alcoholics” and/or a person with Substance Use Disorder, otherwise known to me and my friends as non-problem drinkers (normies).

As I’ve discussed in some of my other posts like “The Thing about Dry January”, I harbor no judgment for anyone who decides to stop drinking for any reason whatsoever. Whether you’re simply taking a short break for No Drink November or Dry January, I support and encourage everyone to explore and/or question their relationship with alcohol. Making the decision to abstain from alcohol, isn’t just for alcoholics.

However, with that being said, everyone has a backstory as to when or more importantly, why, they’ve decided to stop drinking. Before I continue, let me just say this. I love learning about other people’s “why”, and hearing all about their journey with alcohol. At the same time, I am also a firm believer in the fact that no one “deserves” an explanation as to why someone chooses not to drink, it’s a personal choice, ipso facto: none of my business.Here’s where I’m about to lose some of ya’ll though. Anyone, and I do mean anyone who has decided to stop drinking, has hit rock bottom.

Here’s the thing about rock bottom, it’s not what you think. I don’t care if you’re a gutter alcoholic or a fitness expert who finally realized that booze adds to many unworthy calories, the decision to “sober up” and abstain from alcohol happened at your rock bottom. Sure, I know that there exists a growing faction of people who don’t like the connotation of terms like sobriety, alcoholic, rock bottom, and the like. That’s okay, you don’t have to use or align yourself with anything you don’t agree with, the fact of the matter though is that these words exist, and surrounding such words are farcical myths.

There exists a notion that sobriety is owned by those of us in recovery from alcoholism or alcohol/substance use disorder. Simultaneously, the argument is presented that “sobriety” is for anyone and everyone. I don’t care which side of that proverbial argument you’re on, I’m picking an entirely different battle all altogether right now, HA!

The hill I’m choosing to die on today is rooted in the firm belief that everyone has a rock bottom.  Call me petty, but I get really frustrated in the divisive language of “…I mean, I’m not an alcoholic but…” or “I don’t have a drinking problem but…” If either of those sentences ends in some form or fashion with you deciding to stop drinking, you’ve hit rock bottom friend.

For conversation’s sake, I get the idea of assigning “levels” of consumption or impacts of alcohol on a person’s life, thus the existence of phrases like “high-bottom drunk” or “low-bottom alcoholic”, and “high functioning” or “low functioning”. I get it, I do. Believe it or not, I’m honestly not here to argue semantics. What has become increasingly frustrating over the years though is this idea that you do (or don’t) have to hit, rock bottom, before getting sober. It’s not uncommon for me to see or even hear “Well I didn’t really hit my rock bottom” or “I haven’t hit rock bottom yet…”  or “I don’t know what my rock bottom is…” We can try to qualify and explain all we want. We can endlessly debate about what rock bottom is or isn’t.

The reality is, however, that all those words, descriptors, and qualifiers are a complete and total waste of everyone’s time. Whether you drink every day or only a few times a year, whatever made you come to the decision to stop altogether is your rock bottom.

Rock-bottom is wherever you decided to stop digging, the lowest level you stooped to while living a life that included alcohol. Whether you have had a drink every day for 25 years or have only ever had a drink 25 times in your entire life; whether you stay plastered on a regular basis or only have wild nights out with friends on special occasions, if any combination of alcohol and your life has caused you to pause and re-evaluate… yup! That’s rock bottom.

Rock bottom looks different for everyone. Rock bottom feels different for everyone. If you fall into the special population of people who have decided to stop drinking (for any reason) the term rock bottom, applies to YOU! There’s no shame in it, at least there doesn’t have to be anyway. Sober isn’t a dirty word, alcoholic isn’t an insult, and abstinence doesn’t make you a prude. As for rock bottom? We ALL got’em!