Estimated read time: 7 minutes
Have you ever heard the phrase “Living One Day at a Time”?
The recovery community has what could only be described as an ungodly amount of slogans, quips, and cliché sayings that pertain to addiction, recovery, getting sober, staying sober, and avoiding relapse.
Many of these “quotes” are fairly ambiguous. So much so, that these sayings are commonly used outside of the recovery community.
These sober slogans can often be found on posters in classrooms, doctors’ offices, or workplace bulletin boards and are, almost always, misattributed to some scientist, innovator, philanthropist, or politician.
That’s okay I suppose. In the grand scheme of things, it’s really neither here nor there; just a bit interesting is all.
Next time you’re out and about, going into your doctor’s office for a check-up, attending a parent/teacher conference at your child’s school, or in the break room at work, take a look around.
You might see a poster with a stock-image photo and text that says “Easy Does It, But Do It,” “Relax, Take it Easy, Don’t Struggle,” or my personal favorite “One Day At A Time.”
The whole “One Day At A Time” thing and I go wayy back. In fact, I actually used to HATE that particular sober slogan with every fiber of my being.
I can remember that in my first few months in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous; I probably heard that saying at least a thousand times.
It was the topic at meetings. It was the quick response to the “how’d you do it?” asked of sober alcoholics picking up anniversary chips on their sobriety birthdays. It was everywhere all the time, and I despised it.
My thought on the matter was if I’m desperate enough to come and ask you for help; if I’m honestly asking how you have managed to stay sober for however many years, how dare you have the audacity to brush me off with such a cliché answer as “One Day At A Time.”
I’m looking for more detailed instructions than that! Dammit man, I’m asking for real answers here!
Once I gathered up enough courage to lift my head, peel my eyes off the meeting room floor, and actually speak to someone, I expressed my frustration with the phrase.
Naturally, the response I received was a warm chuckle and yet another sober slogan, “Keep Coming Back.”
While this too was frustrating, somehow it wasn’t nearly as bad as One Day At A Time was.
For some reason, I could more easily accept “keep coming back” as a response because it gave me hope that in time, maybe, some of these things would begin to make sense.
I should also note that the name of the group I attended most was… One Day At A Time or ODAT for short. (“Ughh, naturally.”)
So I did, keep coming back, that is. I came back for 2 meetings a day, 7 days a week for 3 months. It wasn’t till towards the end of that third month that I had an epiphany of sorts.
I can remember the day clearly, which is surprising because by this point in my active addiction I stayed so insanely drunk I could barely make it out of my dorm room.
Anyhow, it was a Wednesday afternoon. I rushed out of work to make it to the 12 pm meeting at the other A.A. group in town. I was always just a smidge late to this meeting, usually arriving just moments after the serenity prayer was finished to open the meeting.
The readings were passed out. Everything was business as usual. I had my 32-ounce Gatorade bottle full of MD 20/20 in tow so I passed on the coffee and took my seat at the table.
Shaking, sweating, and reeking of the dairy farm, I listened to the chairperson introduce the topic for the meeting.
Care to venture a guess as to what the topic was? Anyone… no? Okay, I’ll just tell you. It was, of course, without doubt, but full of irony, “One Day At A Time.”
I probably let out a pretty boozy sigh, but I stayed silent and sat there ready to listen and prepared to remain confused about this sober saying who’s meaning escaped me.
The meeting was well underway. Many sitting around the conference-style table had already shared, and I was no more enlightened than when I had arrived.
Then, a gentleman who sat diagonally across the table from me spoke up. He introduced himself in the usual manner and proceeded to share. What really caught my attention was when he admitted he had no idea how he had stayed sober for three years. He didn’t know, and he actually said that, out loud, in front of people.
For three years this man had been sober, and he said he had no clue how he had done it. FINALLY! What a relief. A little bit of honesty. But, then, he continued to share….
He mentioned the one day at a time thing at least a dozen times like the rest had. He spoke on how for him “one drink is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.” He talked about the struggles he faced getting sober, as well as all the relapses and rehab trips he had leading up to staying sober this time.
Then, he uttered the following words, “It’s a 24-hour program. I took it hour-by-hour, one day at a time, and somehow, here I am.”
Mind BLOWN!!
It clicked. I quickly whipped out my phone and feverishly texted my recovering friend from another A.A. Group. “I get it now!! The One Day At A Time — it’s a 24-hour program! We just don’t drink today!”
I was quite pleased with myself and excited to finally have a better grip. I felt like I had been the butt of an inside joke for so long, but now, I was with the “in-crowd.”
My excitement was quickly put in check as he replied with a dry, “Yep, it’s that simple,” but to be honest, I was still secretly a little proud of this new discovery I had made.
I would love to say that from that day moving forward I got sober and never took another drink again, but we all know that’s not true.
I stayed in denial about the depth of my chemical dependency on alcohol for a few more weeks before going into treatment.
However, having a better understanding of the One Day At A Time concept helped get me in the right mindset to finally go to rehab and stay there for the duration of my treatment plan.
Once I got out of treatment, I knew enough about sobriety to know that my recovery journey was going to resemble more of a marathon than a sprint.
I was okay with that because now I knew what I had to do; take it One Day At A Time.
Thank you for reading! Please like, share, and comment below.
For more food for thought on the phrase “One Day At A Time, check out the blog post “What Taking it One Day at A Time Really Means” by Burning Tree Programs.
